November 4, 2004

My Head A Splode

I have been hammering out my review of unethical search optimization practices, but there’s a lot of ground to cover and it’s going a bit slower than I had anticipated. The main subject areas include meta tag spam, content spam, hidden content spam, improper content weighting, link farming, and portal sites. I have had fun researching it, a dirty pleasure that I can only liken to the act of slumming. Also, my research has renewed my appreciation for web designers who can play by the rules and still build websites that totally rip on the fronts of bandwidth, usability, compatibility, and search.

The last couple weeks have been absolutely insane, and I would have no objection to going to bed at 8:00 tonight. Nevertheless, it’s already 10:11 so the likelihood of that is nil, unless in the future I get my hands on a time machine in the future and think back and say, “Hey! You know what, I’ll bet I would be so stoked with myself if I went back in time and gave myself this time machine!”

Unfortunately, I have no faith in my future self to make the right decision and travel back in time to now and help me out. I’m not that responsible, and I know that I would do things all reckless and callous if I could travel through time. I’d probably do something stupid, like travel five minutes back in time. I’d get caught in an infinite loop where every five minutes I would watch myself get my hands on a time machine, and travel back in time five minutes.

Soon enough there would be an entire army of Danes running around, all clutching their heads and screaming and demanding that the agony end. But the agony would continue. Every single one of those Danes would have seen Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, and would know that the act of travelling back in time does not alter the present, because that past, even the past with you appearing in the past, already happened.

Nay, by travelling into the past you can only affect the future, and since the future hasn’t happened yet, you actually have no idea what in the heck you did to influence it. Did you do anything at all, or was this particular future inevitable regardless of how many Danes looped themselves into the past?

I’m going to San Francisco this weekend for some seriously hardcore web design workshops, and I will be taking my army with me.

Shoot! Jen, I didn’t get your message until after I got back, so I totally didn’t know to look up the ol’ Kachinger. I did catch up with an old band camp friend, though, so there was no shortage of friends and mayhem on the streets of San Fran.
I guess this just means that I’ll need to go back down there, sometime.