near-death exorcism

Good God.

Our kitchen stank like death, so we took out the trash. That improved our standard of living somewhat. After that it just smelled like near-death. Where could that smell be coming from? While putting away dishes I found an ancient potato(e) storage shelf. Sniff. Yup, that’s it. I grabbed the five pound bag of old(e) sprouting potatoes… it was dripping and rotting like a corpse. I ran out the door for the dumpster outside, gagging the entire time. My eyes still burn.

It will take me weeks to recover from this. I need a drink.