February 28, 2001

epictetus transcendence

Great. I just checked Cromlech online, and Grrzmiquaccorix was totally screwed up. For some reason my editor says the links aren’t capitalized, the pages they link to aren’t capitalized, and yet when I upload the page it makes the links capitalized… this means they don’t work, and callous people crack a dry smirk at my obvious shortcomings as a web-making-type-person. I wonder what other tricks this site has up its sleeve.


The transcending phrase of the ages. I’ll wager this is an accurate quote of Epictetus when his leg was broken during torture.

“You know, if you keep twisting my leg is going to break.”



February 23, 2001

stave off the yellow electric bunny hordes

Some new stuff in Cromlech for ya’ll. A few new stories under Lore in Grrzmiquaccorix, the latest antics in Leave it to Peter, some new wisdom in Rubin Sez, and finally… New developments in Biographical Warfare! Check out the fresh produce in The Tempo Chronicles, the wack of Slapdash Jest, and the framework of arriving L’histoire du Writin’.

With that said, I really need to start being more vigorous in my homework duties. Innumerable things are creeping up like the little yellow electric bunny hordes at the end of Full Throttle. Time to release all those suckers into the minefield. Time to step away from this freakishly large, web-based timesink.

February 16, 2001

where art thou, iolaus?

Cromlech is getting too large. I had originally hoped that by this point it would maintain itself, such that I could watch cartoons as it updates graphics, content, bad grammar and lousy navigation. It has not yet attained this sentience and I am gravely disappointed. It has hideously overdeveloped limbs (Grrzmiquaccroix) in striking contrast to painfully stunted ones (Biographical Warfare, Mheu-Zhaque). My planned solution to this problem? Add more limbs! Soon to be featured are new sections like Bad Ideas and Prosaic Fame! Why create quality when I can keep piling on half-assed idea after idea? Before we know it the whole menu on the left will be full, each page a frail mockery of its frail predecessor! Bwa-ha-ha! I am unstoppable! You will all swear fealty to the poisonous hydra of Greek mythology! For every page of Cromlech you attempt to dismember, three more will grow in its place! No helpful Iolaus to cauterize the wound! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

February 15, 2001

he wields mechanical fury

Stadium Apartments has a large floor scrubbing mechanism. It is usually driven by a sullen frat boy sporting a backwards hat and baggy pants. Every day, excepting when frat boy forgets, this machine is released from its cage and runs amok on the ground floor. Now, I would usually pay such a trivial thing no mind, but there is something about the scrubber that troubles me. When running it shakes the apartment. Not just our ground floor apartment, but the entire apartment building. Even when I lived on fourth floor it was obvious when the scrubber was loose, as the whole place would take on a steady vibration until it gave up. If a tank was driving around the building I would expect some shaking, but a floor scrubber? That much power should not be necessary to perform menial household tasks… even household tasks at the institutional level. Nor should something of such mechanical fury be wielded by a mere sullen frat boy. What we need are dedicated scrubber wranglers, well versed in their craft.

February 10, 2001

better than matching sweaters

The worst mornings are the ones where I wake up completely hungover, even though I had not a stitch of alcohol the night prior.

Sunny Wicked played an intense concert today at the Romano Gymnasium. Sold out crowd, free food and their two biggest fans were present… a crochety old man with a bright yellow lunchbox, who covers his ears and rants at Chris… and his wife; a kind-hearted lady, full of smiles, that insists that the boys keep playing… and keep playing LOUD. They did.

New: Version 0.005! It must be better, because it’s new.

February 9, 2001

inter-dimensional salting

We’ve got some new snow, and the salt trucks were out in full force last night. When I am out of doors, bundled up and still suffering a chill, it troubles me to see cheerful puddles of brown water gleaming in the weak winter sunlight. Not so much the brown, but more the water concerns me. I do not believe that ice was originally intended to melt at 13 degrees, and by making it do so we may be upsetting the stability of our laughably few dimensions of existence.

February 6, 2001

ten percent good

I take back my earlier claim that making a website is difficult. It’s actually painfully easy. Making a good website, on the other hand, is a concept that escapes 90 percent of the internet-publishing community. If you are reading this and have a shoddy website, shame on you.

February 5, 2001

beeth vs. grrzmiquaccorix

My computer seems to have developed an affinity towards crashing. We’ll see how it lives this down.

I think this language needs a new word. We’ll call it beeth. If you have a good definition, please contact me.

Some additional items have been added to Grrzmiquaccorix as an additon.

February 4, 2001

brute force interfacing

Version 0.002 has now been uploaded. Enjoy the slick new interface.

11:16 AM

Ryan fixed PBS! He got so angered about missing Antiques Roadshow that he mashed buttons until the audio worked. He terms his process brute force engineering. Excellent job, neh?

There’s something weird about the number skadzillion. Whenever people say it, they always say eight skadzillion. Never any reference to seven or six, or even a ten skadzillion to emphasize their point. One skadzillion, though it must be grossly huge, is completely out of the question. I had a point, but now I forgot it. Leave me alone.