February 15, 2001

he wields mechanical fury

Stadium Apartments has a large floor scrubbing mechanism. It is usually driven by a sullen frat boy sporting a backwards hat and baggy pants. Every day, excepting when frat boy forgets, this machine is released from its cage and runs amok on the ground floor. Now, I would usually pay such a trivial thing no mind, but there is something about the scrubber that troubles me. When running it shakes the apartment. Not just our ground floor apartment, but the entire apartment building. Even when I lived on fourth floor it was obvious when the scrubber was loose, as the whole place would take on a steady vibration until it gave up. If a tank was driving around the building I would expect some shaking, but a floor scrubber? That much power should not be necessary to perform menial household tasks… even household tasks at the institutional level. Nor should something of such mechanical fury be wielded by a mere sullen frat boy. What we need are dedicated scrubber wranglers, well versed in their craft.