Exaggeration (Over?)

So. The First Ever Bend Bloggers Bash was a rolicking success. If one is to take Doug’s Axiom, which states that “The loudest one is always the leader,” Jake (Utterly Boring) and I spent most of the evening sparring for domination of the group. I won out eventually, though, thanks to my cutting wit and lack of genetic descendants. What can I say? Buying diapers from Wal-Mart at 10:00 in the evening just siphons the life out of a man.

Props definitely go to Shannon (There’s Always Something) for plannin’ up ‘dis whole shindig. Hopefully she can free Jake from his hide-a-bed before I find it and huck eggs at it. Barney (Bend.com) was kind enough to launch a press release (more like a Declaration of Intent if you ask me), but I didn’t get nearly enough time to shout at Barney so I don’t know Barney half as well as I should.

Simone (On The Bright Side) showed off her professional freelance photography abilities by climbing up the wall to take everyone’s picture. She must have touched up the pic in Photoshop, though, cuz I know I never looked like that much of a moron. Never ever. I was a suave dude all evening, and any report you hear of my being a spaz or something is a FILTHY LIE. It’s a conspiracy, I tell ya! Someone get Roger (High Desert Skeptic) on the horn!

I believe it was Jon (Chuggnutt) who decided that Bend needs shirts that say, “You don’t go to the D&D… You end up at the D&D.” I have since decided we all need t-shirts. They’ll say something lame like “Bend Blogging – Better Than Logging.” Understand that these t-shirts are only meant to hold over until we get black leather jackets emblazoned with our lame-ass slogan and flaming skulls.

Jesse (Bring Back the 80’s) has one of the most unfortunately named weblogs out there, but luckily the fellow is a huge fan of Homestar Runner, so in the universe there is always balance.

Kerry (Bend Buzz) and I made great progress in unravelling the mystery of The Kids on the Hill, mostly by labeling them as The Kids on the Hill so we will be able to discuss them further.

There were lots of other things, too. Most people were kind enough to link to each other’s blog entries for the evening, but I’m a jerk when it comes to that sort of thing and my wrists hurt too much to write more hyperlinks and I’m tired and cranky and YOU ALL KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU WHEN I GET CRANKY. I’ll conveniently sum up the rest of the evening with a list of quotes:

“I’m married to fruit salad!”

“IP that motherfucker!”

“I’m expanding my social circle.”

“And now you are trapped in our clutches!”

“You’re gonna spam my weblog and them I’m gonna have to kick your ass.”

“I’m blogging this.”

…and the classic…

“SOMEBODY’S GETTIN’ EGGED!”