you gotta let go

A lot of people approach me on the sidewalk and ask, “Why should I read your weblog?” I always find myself standing dumbly for a moment, wondering where the heck this person came from and where I’m going to find eggs at this time of night. A lot of times the person simply dropped out of a tree as I came walking by, and the eggs can usually be purchased at Cub Foods at low, low discount prices.

But then, to what great advantage does one read my weblog? What can I possibly offer to entice repeat customers and fervent fans and blog roadies? I’ll tell you what I can offer.

I can offer time travel, fortune-telling and clairvoyance.

Is that enough? Need proof?

I’ve got your proof. I’ve got this week’s Statesman article, a full two days before it’s published. THE ROBINS WILL KILL US ALL.

Besides that, in clinical trials Brainside Out has been proven to boost your sex appeal by 500 percent. Of course, this seems to only apply if you are a contributing member to Brainside Out, but you really can’t go wrong with the halo effect.

That is, unless it breaks your neck.