speaketh now… OR DIE.

Played at the graduate student commencement today. I do not like commencements, and this performance reminded me why. I enjoy the playing; no problem with that… even though I play, sit for an hour, watch my reeds evaporate and eventually create more with my sublimation powers… and then we play again and I spend an entire piece trying to give myself an embolism. No, I do enjoy that. However, I do not enjoy the announcing of each graduate. They always announce it in the same dry way…

“Emmanuel… … … Shovlatski”

Why the hell do they hesitate so long? To build up suspense? If I spoke like that in real life I would get smacked.

The tone of absolute disinterest never wavers either. The speaker could just as well be listing off sacks of flower. The obligatory introduction speech of ‘you are all distinct individuals’ is immediately refuted.