Startling discovery of the day:
Vaseline Intensive Care Advanced Healing Lotion with Vitamin E heals severely dry skin. The ‘severely’ is indeed underlined, but it is not a hyperlink. Fooled you. Despite its claim to be fragrance-free it is fortunately not, as it has the smell of woman. The scent of the essence of woman. It makes my knees quake and my heart race. It touches nerve-endings long dormant, arouses feelings of intensive love and ubiquitous severity.
And in conclusion, I need to get out more. Way more.