May 16, 2002

Sex Survey…

The phone rings. I dig around my filthy room and find the phone. A woman was speaking.

“Hi. I’m calling from Heath Services and we’re doing a sex survey. Do you have about 30 seconds?”

“30 seconds? Isn’t that kind of quick?”

“Well, yes. That’s kind of the point.”

“I like your style. Fire away.”

“When you have sex, what kind of protection do you use?”

“Usually a paper bag. Sometimes two.”

“Ok. What sexual position do you think results in the ugliest babies?”

“All of them.”

“All of them?”

“Babies are ugly.”

“Ok, thank you. Wow, that didn’t even take 30 seconds.”

“My pleasure.”