September 6, 2002

FIGHT

FIGHT

You have encountered Old Man!!

Your skill allows you to get the first strike.

Your Hitpoints : 20

Old Man’s Hitpoints : 13

(A)ttack

(S)tats

(R)un

Your command, The Great Sun Ra? A

You hit Old Man for 9 damage!

Old Man Executes A Power Move

Old Man hits with his Cane for 2 damage!

Your Hitpoints : 18

Old Man’s Hitpoints : 4

(A)ttack

(S)tats

(R)un

Your command, The Great Sun Ra? A

You hit Old Man for 8 damage!

You have killed Old Man!

You receive 73 gold, and 4 experience!


Not enough facets.

Ok, let’s see if I can clear some things up.

If a person acts for a bad reason, his action is unjustified. Sometimes the action is small and without great consequence. Let’s say I get up and dance to Alva Star with the intention of impressing people. That’s a weak line of reasoning, as it depends on the unverifiable (at least until after the action) assumption that people will be impressed.

My awful, horrible generalization of the activist mind is this: “I dance to make an example of myself and to help move the unenlightened horde that isn’t dancing.”

This line reasoning is unjustified. It assumes that there is something innately right about the activist position, merely because “everyone else thinks this way, so I must be right.” My previous discussion may have alienated people, yes, but the activist mindset alienates everyone that doesn’t agree with their cause. Instead of meeting the hordes at their own level and building them up, activists sit in their own holy chairs of enlightenment and ‘tsk’ the people who have not yet come to the right conclusion. The image is a strange juxtaposition, when you consider that the stereotypical activist that shows up to an anti-globalization rally looks like he fell out of Haight- Ashbury.

Now, do not misunderstand. I have no love for the flag-waving patriot that believes in “my country, right or wrong.” That sort of dedication is dangerous and unjustified. I also think that “my country, wrong and wrong,” must be incorrect as well, as it’s too easy and too convenient of a counter-argument. Motivation and passion are great and wonderful movers of people, but can often cloud judgment. This does not mean that we need to do away with them, quite to the contrary. However, action with passion does not make the action right. There is no doubt the terrorists were passionate about their cause, but I believe they were suffering from a horrible mental disease when they crashed jetliners into our buildings.

Should they be held accountable for this disease? Fuck yeah. They’ve got free-will just as well as we do. They’ve got the free will to shit on us, and we’ve got the free-will to make sure they never shit again.

I have trouble understanding the anti-war argument, though it may be because I have an oversimplified view and have read too many counterarguments to their claims. I had an argument with my friend last year about war and civilian casualties, to which he made the claim that “no civilian causalities are justified.”

Alright. That sounds good and all, but it is a manufactured absolute with no justification. It takes the generally held belief that “human life is precious,” (which, as shown by the actions of militant Muslims, is not always the case) and explodes to a preposterous level where it becomes an absolute truth about civilian casualties. I agree that civilian casualties are an awful thing, but I don’t like the alternative any more.

“You’re making the argument that an American civilian life is worth more than an Afghani (or Iraqi, in the current case) civilian life.”

No. I’m making the argument that the government of Afghanistan had the opportunity to meet our demands (hand over Bin Laden), knowing full well that non-compliance would result in war on their turf. Rather than losing one person and saving their country (their awful, Taliban-ruled country that executes people in stadiums), they chose war, and thereby put their own citizens on the line.

The American government’s responsibility is first the lives of Americans, and I kind of like it that way. Were it any different, I would seriously consider why we call it the American government.


September 5, 2002

I’m just here. Mostly.

I got hypnotized last night by the great Frederick Winter. People are always curious what it felt like, whether I remember what I did, etc.

I remember most everything, though it feels like I’m looking at it through a slight fog. The events are not as clear as though I was completely awake, nor so faint that it felt like a dream. I remember watching a scary movie. I remember seeing Lassie get hit by a car. I remember that when we were driving cars, everyone else was driving a Porsche, a Ferrari, some sporty Audi P.O.S., a Pontiac Aztec, etc…

“And sir, what are you driving?” asked the hypnotist.

“A beach wagon! REEEEEE, REEEEEEE!!!…”

When I say I remember these things, it is not as though I was tripping out on mushrooms and actually seeing them. It was all in my imagination, of which I was aware, but it all made complete sense. I would be told, “You are a baby kangaroo,'” and it would seem like the most true and obvious statement at the time. “Well, of course I’m a baby kangaroo. I’m going to act like a baby kangaroo, and I really don’t care about all these people that aren’t kangaroos.”

Every one of your actions seems like it is embracing the best of all possible worlds. You aren’t concerned about the people in the audience, nor do you care that you look like a fool when dancing. You only care about having a good time and listening to what the hypnotist has to say. You are always in control, but you feel less inhibited than usual. Your environment feels a little bit extraneous, and you exist more within yourself. It’s like daydreaming. It’s like being drunk, only without the dulling chemical interactions in your blood.

The more fun and stupid stuff I did, the better I felt. The sensation was similar to doing skits at summer camp. I just got into it, deep into it, and had a really good time. In many ways, my being hypnotized is hardly different than my waking state. After the show we went down to watch Alva Star, and as most people in the audience slugged in chairs some nerds got up and danced in front. We kicked out the jive for a bit, and then nerds started sheeting off to the four winds until I was dancing by myself.

I was having a good time, and didn’t care how foolish I looked. I mean, it’s not a perfect sensation, as my mind often concerns itself with the fact that I’m not concerned with what people may think, and then concerns itself with the fact that I’m concerning myself with the fact that I’m not concerned about other people.

My main concern is usually whether or not it looks like I’m trying to prove something in my actions. I am not. I have little respect for people who act merely to influence others; people who justify their actions by the social/political goal they are trying to achieve. Activists come to mind. They see their actions as a means to an end, and usually do not think too hard about why they ‘do what they do.’ To me this reduces one’s life to that of an automaton, with no great amounts of self-reflection keeping the processes in check:

“I protest attacks on Iraq.”

“Why?”

“Because war is wrong.”

“Why is war wrong?”

“Because people die.”

“What should we do instead?”

“Settle it in diplomatic negotiations.”

“Why do the terrorists even deserve negotiations?”

“Because America brought this war on itself.”

“As I recall, the terrorists attacked us on September 11.”

“…because of our past actions, duh.”

“So what your saying is, when a terrorist group attacks our country to the result of 3,000 dead, we should not consider them a threat and instead grant them the opportunity to sit down with us and discuss their desire to make the free world bleed in the name of Allah?”

“…that’s not what I said.”

Yes it is.


September 3, 2002

Fundamental Forces of Fun

The universe has four fundamental forces: the Strong Force, the Electromagnetic Force, the Weak Force and the Gravitational Force. The Strong Force acts against the repulsion of protons within an atom and holds the nucleus together. The Electronmagentic Force obeys the inverse square law over distance and operates under Coulumb’s Law, which states that like charges repel, unlike charges attract. The Weak Force involves the exchange of W and Z intermediate vector bosons and changes one flavor of quark into another. Finally, gravity is the wussiest force of them all, yet is the primary force in shaping our universe.

I propose a fifth fundamental force, as four are clearly not enough to account for all the goings on in the universe. (As an aside, the YMCA tries to get away with “four core values,” but existence makes it clear they need one more for the sake of balance: Respect, Honesty, Caring, Responsibility, Arson.) I do not yet have a name for this force, but I am convinced that it does exist, as too many actions appear entirely alogical in its absence. Not just illogical, which means without logic, but alogical, which is in complete opposition to anything logical, such that if you put logic on a table next to alogic, the two would annihilate each other in a burst of energy so intense it would rip the universe in half and burn the varnish off the table.

Allow me to explain.

As men get older (and I speak only for men, here), our brains slowly free themselves from the shackles of this world. As I approach the ripe-old age of 22, I become aware of my own mental degredation. A few examples:

Yesterday I thought it would be a good idea to move my dresser, about which I have many neurons that scream “IT FALLS APART WHEN YOU MOVE IT.” These neurons didn’t fire as I started to shove my dresser around, so I was surprised (though only for a moment) when it fell apart and dumped my heifweisen glass in a million shards about the floor.

I bought groceries today and was zoning out in line, thinking how cool it would be to have a red dot-matrix scrolling readout in our apartment window. The person in front of me was finishing up, when I suddenly remembered that I had to put my groceries on the conveyor belt. I scrambled to get them up in an acceptable amount of time, so that the clerk wouldn’t think I was a complete idiot. Didn’t work.

I lost my car yesterday morning. I knew I parked it out in back, but it wasn’t there anymore. I couldn’t remember moving it, but started to fabricate memories under the assumption I had moved it. Finally I stepped outside and found it around the corner, right where I had parked it.

I wanted to eat an orange for lunch, today. I grabbed one, got distracted, made a peanut butter & jelly sandwich, and later remembered I wanted to eat an orange. Unfortunately I couldn’t remember where I set the orange down, so I had to go without it. I found it an hour ago on my desk.

And the list goes on. My roommates are fortunate for being so young as they are, so they can witness my descent with clear eyes before they too succumb to this tragic illness. This dulling of the senses is too strong a force, and cannot be accounted for under the traditional fundamental forces of the universe. There must be something at work, something great and sinister, to convince people that the Pontiac Aztec is an attractive car, that solar-powered water pumps are a good idea, that Iona’s Beach needed to be a parking lot, that billboards enhance the landscape, and that bringing the 70’s back to life is good style.

Call it lunacy, call it stupidity, call it idiocy, but realize that when you ascribe a name to it you are trying bind the force in the bondage of language. The force is too strong to be held behind words.

It must be stopped.


All Glory to the Transmitter

Now broadcasting 1.21 gigawatts of crystal clear scribery from the rocky shores of Lake Superior. Welcome back.

Details will follow shortly. The revolution may not be televised, but it will be webcast.

(not to imply the revolution will start here, as this is merely a slapdash little web thing flung together by a meglomanian Danish trull.)

WHEE! It’s windy today! Kittens are bein’ flung across the sky like rocks during a Palestinian uprising!

Yikes. That was so wrong on so many levels. I’m gonna allow it.