October 24, 2002

cowboy dane’s news round up

Gather round, kiddies! Cowboy Dane has been riding across the desert all night to bring you today’s news round up! Listen close or you’ll get a shiny bullet in the head!

critics blast chevrolet campaign

Chevrolet is linking up with an evangelical concert tour for a marketing campaign, a move criticized as crossing the line between religion and the board room.

The “Chevrolet Presents: Come Together and Worship” stage shows begin Nov. 1 in Atlanta and end at the Palace at Auburn Hills on Nov. 23.

Chevy Trucks: The holiest fucking truck on the fucking road.

The Chevrolet tour includes a multimedia worship service with preaching by the Rev. Max Lucado, a Texas pastor and author, and a distribution of free evangelical literature. The headline musicians, Michael W. Smith and the rock band Third Day, are among popular acts in the contemporary Christian music genre.

“I want an American car!”

velociraptor is stolen

Someone call Doug and Sandy about this one.

Dogs give blood at U of Penn

Right on.

aspirin ok after bypass surgery

I’m glad the little guy pulled through.

lives of men in sniper case studied

When I first glanced at this one I thought it said ‘livers’, and I thought it was a bloody twist on tea-leaf readings. “Oh, there’s the problem. He’s been doing all this off a bad bottle of gin from ’92.”

many women quit hormones

Just like that, you can quit ’em. Cold turkey. Like cigarettes.

snowstorm closes Nebraska roads

More than 6 inches of snow fell in North Platte, prompting some truck drivers and motorists to take refuge at the Flying J Travel Plaza.

Cashier Julie Edwards said business was brisk and coffee was the popular purchase. Some customers planned to stay overnight, hoping for better traveling conditions Thursday.

Being stuck in Nebraska is the cruelest of fates. Unless you got stranded at the Pr0no Barn, then I suppose it would be ok. Or not. The people there were weird. Weird pr0n cowboys.

As of this instant you have become my sole source of news regarding events occurring in the USA (United States of America).
That is all.