January 16, 2003

mixed bizziness

Question: Why did Kentucky Fried Chicken change its name to KFC?

a) They genetically engineered a creature called Animal 37, which is like a chicken but has three breasts and no beak and needs to eat all its meals from a hamster bottle filled with a thin gruel mixture and is affectionately called a ‘cluck’ by people in the biz because that’s the sound it will never be able to make. For legal reasons, Kentucky Fried Chicken could no longer claim that what they sold was chicken.

b) In an attempt to raise funds for a failing public education system, Kentucky copyrighted the name of their state. Now any company that wishes to use the word ‘Kentucky’ in their name must pay the state of Kentucky. Kentucky Fried Chicken, keen both to the lunacy of this newfangled government policy and the fact that their association with the state of Kentucky has nothing to do with the success of their chicken business, changed their name to the mysterious KFC.

The answer may surprise you.

Lots o’ things goin’ on here in Duluth. Pulled in a bit after 5:00 last night, carried some crap into the apartment, took four tons of boxes and trash that had been sitting around since the beginning of the semester out to the dumpster, and went to the Geek Prom meeting at Robin Goodfellow’s (a new and geeky RPG hang in Duluth that has a nice cold basement with rock walls and kids with nicotine patches on their faces playing magic and Warhammer 40K). Our plans are top secret, but I assure ya’ll they are super geeky.

This morning I worked on my webpage and made green tea and boiled off half the water from the teapot before I remembered I put it on the burner. I left the apartment for school to mail a letter, check out the Wooch! lounge and look up the books I’m gonna need for next semester. I wrote down all the names and authors in the Bookstore, then went online and found ’em all cheaper on Amazon.com (with no sales tax and free shipping, too). Saved over $80 buying my books online.

Later I drove to the t-shirt place to look at possible colors for this year’s Wooch! shirts, and on the way passed a random lady that was standing in the middle of the street, holding up traffic from both directions. On the drive back I stopped at Global Village for some Nag Champa incense and KFC for some honey barbeque wings. The two scents did not mingle well.

When I got back to the apartment I found that I forgot to lock the door, but I suppose that’s ok because I don’t even remember leaving the apartment in the first place.

Thanks for the intellectual spade work, Hank. Geez, if MPiRG is wrong on something like this, they couldn’t possibly be wrong on anything else that’s actually important, could they?

MPIRG tries hard, means well, and takes plenty of data from the dresser, mattress, box springs and closet, and lobbies the dumbwaiter for more pillows, but what it really comes down to is that they just can’t seem to get themselves out of the bedroom in the morning to do anything meaningful.