January 21, 2003

your mom is cold

Cold. So very cold. Marrow-cracking cold. The kind of cold that seeps into your brain and frostbites your thoughts. It’s currently 0 with a windchill of -14 and a clear sky, so we’re sure to lose some digits tonight.

It’s currently 38 degrees in Hood River, Oregon. 10 in Barrow, Alaska.. 23 Anchorage. 16 in Fairbanks. 2 in Deadhorse. -16 in Tower, Minnesota.

And I really wouldn’t mind the cold so much if we actually had a real winter going on here, but all we’ve got is a 1/4″ of snow and 10″ of salt. Driving in the Cities you would occasionally find yourself blinded by salt fogs kicked up from the street by all the cars. It’s absolutely ridiculous.

I often had to stop the car because of toddlers on the road, licking up salt. Sometime I don’t stop. In those cases, the salt helps mummify them so that future cars can simply thump over the carcasses until they roll off the street.