February 20, 2003

self-less self-promotion

I’ll bet you’re wondering where this one is going:

With the national security level raised from chartreuse to goldenrod, some extra precautions might be necessary to ensure your longevity. The media has added their own spin to the situation, but they’re too busy whimpering like a pack of school girls in a drowning submarine to be of any legitimate use. If we are to believe their take, most Americans are currently raiding grocery stores as though stocking up for a hurricane. I’ve got news for all you folks: THE TERRORISTS WILL NOT ATTACK US WITH A HURRICANE.

My latest article in the Statesman is up this week: TERROR-ISM: Your Guide to Survival. Go check it out.

Oh, and if you missed it, here’s my last article: Everything’s Better With Handguns.

My articles start out funny in my head, but then I put them through my humor coprocessor and write them down and they’re not funny anymore and the statesman doesn’t publish them.