March 20, 2004

The Song is Heard No Longer

It’s a cold and lonely evening and you’re busy becoming nocturnal for some reason or another. You sit at your computer and sigh, shuffling your good leg and your robotic leg and a train whistle sounds and you say to the world, “Okay, now that’s just too much.” I mean, for real. A train whistle. Is there anything in the world more forlorn than a train whistle?

The fog horn, perhaps, but so much animosity swirls around that damned thing that it is wrapped in its own community of hatred. You could stumble through the frosty streets of Duluth knowing that even the rich people, even the crazy people, even the homeless people, even the guy with no legs in a wheelchair pushing himself down 2nd Street in a snowstorm, they all hate the fog horn as much as you do.

You are at the edge of the world with broken bones. You choke on the desert dust that whails through town like a restless spirit. Tumbleweed bounces across the parking lot and away into the sands and you realize the tenacious grip of the civilized world. The poster boys of civilization are different out West. The landscape and its patrons are inhospitable towards your coat and tie. Cowboys. 49ers. You can hear the creaking wooden floors, the swinging saloon doors, the tinny piano coughing out a ragtime lament. You take whatever civility you can get.

Your ghost train disappears into the desert shadows, leaving you with the evacuated heavens of all memories.

all i hear is circus music…sweet, delicious circus music…you know, if you grow back deformed, you could join the circus. they will take just about anyone from what i hear…especially those who are small and fiesty (and deformed)
pack up your bags and head for the big tops…

Yay! As a kid I always wanted to run away and grow the circus. Maybe I should concentrate really hard on growing back deformed and get my own sideshow and and and… No wait! I don’t even need to grow back! I could just replace my broken leg with a not-quite-so-broken REAL ROBOTIC LEG with super-human ass-kicking intelligence!
Yeah! I could have my own sideshow! It would be the “Dane Will Kick Your Ass With His Robotic Leg and You Will Pay Ten Dollars For The Opportunity” show!