August 3, 2004

Peasant’s Quest Walk-Through

ATTENTION: What follows is a huge and ungentlemen-esque spoiler for Peasant’s Quest, the latest hot release from the fellows at Videlectrix. So many of the delicious treats in this game pop up when you are trying to do the impossible, or are doing stuff totally wrong, or are just dinkin’ around trying to do any old thing, and the trouble is that a walk-through absolutely defeats this purpose.

But sometimes, life can just be a little bit frustrating. Honestly, in a moment of weakness during Peasant’s Quest I too grappled for Google, just to see if anyone out there could help a brutha out. No one had drafted anything of the sort, and at that moment I vowed I’d sketch out the game if I managed to beat it. Not in the intent of building a paint by numbers kit for everyone, unless of course it was a paint by numbers kit that you need to hunt and kill in the woods, drag back to the arts and crafts table, and clean and gut for all the little campers who want to bring something nice home to mom and dad and are sick of being creative with mud, sticks and crusted blood.

So with that, I present to you the Grand and Massive (though not particularly massively grand) Peasant’s Quest Walk-Thru of Rarely Seen Semblance and Order ®

You start here. Do you see where you start? That’s where you start. Go two screens south and one screen west to the cottage with the crunch berry bushes out in front. Go inside. Talk to the lady. Get some chicken feed. Try to steal the baby. Try to sleep in the bed.

Go outside and try to get berries from each of the four bushes. You will find a super trinket in the last one you search.

Go one screen west and one screen north to the west “half of a lake”. Get some of ‘dem rocks from the shore.

Go one screen north and talk to the archer. Remember his odd speech mannerisms.

Go another screen north. Put the rocks in the bucket. Turn the crank and grab the monster maskus.

Go two screens north and one screen west, to your burninated cottage. Look at your cottage, and get the piece of paper on the ground. This is a map, and it’s sure to come in handy in this wildly complex world of sight and sound. As you’re joggin’ around this area, make sure that you avoid the Kerrek. He smells bad and he’ll pound ya into the ground if ya give him a chance.

Go one screen west and two screens north. Try to talk to the horse. Try to ride the horse. Put on the maskus and scare the crap outta the horse.

Go west, through the hole that the horse busted in da fence. Remember what the archer told you to tell his brother? Say ‘Haldo’. The brother will leave. Saddle up to the tree and get yerself an arrow.

Go back to the archery range (the map should make runnin’ ’round a bit easier on ya) and give the super trinket to the reunited brothers.

If you hit the bulls-eye three times you’ll get the SuperTime FunBow ™. You get unlimited tries, so if you’re an incompetent screw-up just keep talkin’ to the brothers until you finally get it right. Pay close attention to your timing, and be sure to compensate for the direction and speed of the wind. Cuz, like, yeah.

Go two screens north to find the Kerrek. Use yer arrow and kill him dead. The land will rain in celebration. Walk up to his stinky corpse and grab his stinky belt.

Go hop in the dried up mud puddle, which ain’t so dried up now that it’s been rainin’. It’s two screens south and one screen west of where you probably killed the Kerrek, but don’t let me boss you ’round. Use your map or do some freakin’ explorin’, you little devil, you.

Now that you’re caked in sweet-smelling mud, go one screen south and one screen west to find the Jhonka. Now that the Kerrek is dead the Jhonka is chillin’ in front of his cave with his loot, but ya’ll can’t grab his loot or else he’ll rend you into tiny bits.

Go one screen north and jump in the hay stack. Go south and get the Jhonka’s riches. When he inquires, it is in your best interest to tell him that no, you are indeed not stealing his riches. Tell him yes if you want. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

Go back to that lady’s hut, one screen south and three screens east, what with the crunch berry bushes and all. Give her the riches and she’ll give you the baby. Excellent.

Try using the baby on all sorts of things, like rivers and ponds and wells.

When you grow tired of that, take the baby to the abandoned hut representin’ on the south west side of the map. Move the rock on the right side of the hut and put the baby in the hole. The baby will do all sorts of magical things, including opening the door, graduating from school and becoming a drunk.

Go inside, open the drawer on the dresser and take the robe. Put on the robe. Now you’re stylin’.

Go one screen east. A half-naked man will pop out of the tree in the foreground. If you try to talk to him he disappears. I’m sure that there is somethin’ you can do with the feller, but I jus’ can’t figure out what it is. Nice pixelated nipples, regardless.

Go two more screens east and one screen north to the east “half of a lake”. Talk to the old man, walk up to the shore, and toss the chicken feed into the water. This is a very sentimental moment.

Go one screen east and open the door to the inn. Look around. Look at the man. Look at the rug. Look at the bed. Try to take the pillow. Ring the bell. Read the paper on the desk. Look at the painting. Finally, GET A ROOM.

After you wake up, look in the pantry. Get the pot of horse grease. Stumble out the front door. Stumble is right.

Go one screen south, and walk under the lantern to burninate yourself. Now you’re a real peasant!

Go two screens north and talk to the knight. Walk up the path, and at the next screen start climbing the mountain. Watch out for rocks. Rocks are bad. If you get hit by a rock you get deadified and the falling sound gets really annoying.

At the top, look at the bones. Try to get the bones. Walk in the cave.

The three keepers will ask you three Trogdor trivia questions. If you’ve actually been playing the game (rather than following a silly walk-through) these will be quite easy. If you answer a question wrong you will be cursed into writing unpopular folk songs or something equally hideous.

You are now armed with the TrogHelmet, the TrogSword and the TrogShield. Walk through the beaded curtain to meet your destiny.

Use your sword on Trogdor.

Talk to Trogdor.

Now you’ve won! Or actually, I’ve won and you’ve waltzed through a bunch of guided steps, thereby eliminating any potential joy of discovery whatsoever!

Note: Whatever I did to win, I have only managed to amass a scant 134 points out of a total of 150. I’m missin’ something, here, which might have to do with hanging out with the half-naked man or something. Nevertheless, I am one man with many things to do besides write walk-throughs for vintage-esque computer games, and while I probably won’t figure out this discrepancy on my own, I trust there are millions of you out there who are, at this very moment, trying to make up for my own shortcomings.

I ended with 139 points, I used your walk through only to beat the jhonka though so I may have done some extra nonsense. Wonder where the extra 11 points are?

i finished with 140, and i didnt use your walkthrou…i did put the baby in the well, and i got a meatball sub which i used on one of the guys in the green cloak. still can’t figure out the naked guy

Ahh, the meatball sub explains a lot. The naked guy remains a mystery for me as well. In my (134 point) game, I still have four empty slots in my inventory. If you include the meatball sub (which I am apparently missing) that leaves three items which I have missed entirely.
On another note, has anyone figured out anything else to do to Trogdor at the end of the game? If ya get too close to him you get burninated. If you use your sword you “win” automatically, but the game gives you a sliver of time right after that to talk to Trogdor (or do something else, if at all possible).

i finished with 152 points. you have to throw the baby in the lake to get a soda, and give the baby to the innkeeper to get pills. im still missing 1 item though, so i dunno whats up. oh you can also get the map at your house.

The following are the least-obvious ways to get an extra point here or there. I’m told you can get 152/150, but i only got 150.
take arrow (after killing kerrek, at Mendelev’s tree)
throw baby (at lake, NOT the fisheman side)
give baby (to innkeeper)
put baby in bucket (at well)
close drawer (in ned’s hut)
talk (to trogdor)

i could be grasping at straws here, but i think the naked guy is the guy who owns the door knob-less house. why would a peasant not be wearing his only robe? he’s too busy climbing trees nekkid, that’s why. as to what you’re suppose to do with ned, i haven’t a clue. for the longest time i thought he was a monkey. the higest score i got in this game was 150. i think the extra 2 points might be attainable if you actually slay trogdor, but here again, i’m grasping at straws.

I keep trying to throw the baby in the lake, but I just get messages either to try another part of the lake, or that for some reason or other it won’t work (like “you already fed the fish”). Where exactly do I have to throw the baby, and is anyone aware of any other conditions that must be met?

Jake just directed me here to point out I’m not the only bend blogger to announce the game :]
Check out my blog for some more background data on trogdor and burning peasants etc:
Check out the Homestar Wiki to see the official walkthrough, even more tips, reference explainations, bugs etc.. this was available probably 6am on Monday morning:
And incidentally the extra 2 points you can get are a bug related to getting an arrow in the hidden glen after slaying Kerrek. I think maybe the bug’s fixed though, since yesserday when I tried it it din work.
Other funnies:
* Try throwing baby in the lake before you get the baby
* Try haldo’ing Mendelev in the hidden glen before you’ve even spoke to his brother
* Look at the rock in the stream, it’s the rock of ages
* Try swimming at the same place, it’s apparently illegal.
* try taking the baby from the baby lady, as dane says, and she hollars at you.. but then try taking the chair.
* try taking the bell at the inn, it’s been olded to the desk
* Look at the pills, they cure general oldness
* try using the crank a few times at the well
* try jumping in the well
Funny ways to die:
* try walking in front of Mendelev’s arrow shooting, or else type “get arrow” before making him go away.. same animation, different quips
* type “die” (forsooth!)
* When it tells you “you would have to cut off your arms and legs and head to fit through that whole” type “try” or “try it”
* Tell the jhonka “yes” when he asks if you’ve pilfered him
* Kick poor gary the horse

baby in the lake: The game is abnormally fussy about that one. You need to be on the west side of the lake, and essentially stand where you got the pebbles on the sandbar. At that exact spot.. it’s a dozen pixels or so above the center of the lake.

Thanks for those links, Jesse! Much very informative, each one a veritable treasure trove of information, brimming with informationally informational information.

Hey, for kicks, type “dan” in any screen, “hug tree” in haystack screen, try to leave the baby in the well (make sure your game is saved), type “scare gary” before you get the mask (multiple times), ask woman about jhonka, type “drop baby” in just about any screen, and type “throw baby” in east half a lake after the innkeeper is gone.

I got 150 points! I did all the little suggestions together- throwing the baby in the lake, in the well, giving the guys in green the sub, the drink, the pills… if you do it all, you’re up to 140 when you throw the swrod at the dragon, and then if you talk to him also you get 150. But I still had one inventory spot missing… darn it….

And then I realized somebody else already got 150… darn it again… but did can you fill in all the inventory spots??

Way to go Lela! I haven’t managed yet to get 150 points myself, but I think I know how to do everything, now. I keep forgetting to give the baby to the old man, though…
As far as inventory goes, I’ve still got a blank spot, myself. Checking my saved games, my consolidated inventories run as follows:

  1. arrow
  2. baby
  3. kerrek belt
  4. chicken feed
  5. SuperTime Fun Bow ™
  6. monster maskus
  7. pebbles
  8. ??? (I assume old man pills)
  9. riches
  10. robe
  11. soda
  12. meatball sub
  13. super trinket
  14. TrogHelmet
  15. TrogShield
  16. TrogSword
  17. ???
  18. shirt
  19. Huh. What in the world is that last one?

I went through the game and only got 149 points. Someone on another walkthrough I found said the food was related to naked ned.
Any idea where that one point came from.
**ending spoiler**
on another note, did everyone die as well or is there a way to really win and live?

If you talk to the wavy tree it wispers ned’s name, and the robe has N.N. stitched to the tag. Other that that I’m clueless. Also try riding Gary and petting him, that’s fun. MAaybe one can offer Ned food? I got 150/150 but again that one inventory spot consarnit

Ahhh…I had been playing for awhile and didn’t use the walk-thru until later but I did things in a different order and now even though I have the robe, bear grease, and I’m on fire…the guard still won’t let me through. I’ve done everything…I don’t know what the deal is. I don’t want to replay…

I only ended the game with 149 points, forgot to get pills and to get an arrow after killing kerreck. Sorry i have NO CLUE about Naked Ned. but yes the robe DOES belong to him.
NOTE: If you catch on fire and then put on the robe..the guard will not notice your on fire.
AND for kicks..try to take the plaque but misspell it by typing “plague”. The game will call you “Mispeller Jones” and refer to a different game. But notice..they spell Misspeller wrong!