Hello. Welcome to 2006, and welcome to the new face of Brainside Out Industries. A couple months of tireless labor and sleepless nights have resulted in this new slice of hotness. The site has been completely rebuilt from the ground up and migrated to a new server, so it’s possible there are still a couple glitches sitting in the wings. Feel free to have a look around, kick the tires, and shout real loud at the top of your lungs. I’m really excited for this year, as my gut tells me some rather tremendous things are afoot.
Aside from toying with the very fabric of spacetime, there’s little we can do but sit back and wait for it all to happen. However, I do not discount the endless possibilities that could be allowed by the subtle twisting of physical law. Bending reality to my will is just the way of things.
Anyway, we are back from our Caribbean cruise, which I must say was The Weirdest Thing I Have Ever Done Ever. Our ship had thirteen bars and a three-story waterslide. Every night we ate luxurious meals of roast duckling and lobster and veal. I heard the Jackson Five version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town no less than one hundred times. My brother-in-law won a solid gold plastic ship-on-a-stick for his synchronized swimming act. One night I threw down my James Brown karaoke bit and the entire bar erupted in a standing ovation. A three-year-old gave me the most precious gift ever. I bore witness to the Hairiest Chest Contest.
I’ll let you in on all the details before too long.