February 1, 2006


This shall be quick and dashed off, as I’ve been up way too late the last couple nights. What have I been doing, you ask? Keeping secrets. Keeping secrets, and getting rid of people who ask too many questions. Your inquisitive nature is your most endearing characteristic, as well as your most dangerous. You blessed people. Your math and science skills shall be the future of this great nation.

You must be stopped.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey! We’ve been doin’ this sort of thing for five years, now. We’ve been blogging since before it was even blogging. Why, back in my day we didn’t have weblogs and blogs and vlogs and aulogs and slogs and clogs and such… we had online journals. You see, these were journals that we kept online, so we could educate the interweb on such important things as floor scrubbers and matching sweaters and those crazy Japanese movies where people would dress up in robot costumes and rampage through a miniature cityscape made of styrofoam. And now, thanks to our great efforts, the interweb knows all about this great stuff!

Except in China.

Hmm. Recent empirical tests point to what I have suspected for some time; this PowerBook has an over-zealous delete key, that will sometimes delete twice for the bargain price of one hit. This behavior is charming, charming that is until you want to write something, where it will produce creative and efficient spelling that uses fewer letters than mandated by the English language. It’s also charming until you want to delete messages from your inbox, where you will frequently toss out H0T XXX PR0PEC1A GR!LS WANT Y0U L@@K NOW! along with $$$IMPORTANT$$$ MESSAGE FROM NIGERIA, LAND OF JUNGLES AND TECH-SAVVY APES WHO RUN DIAMOND CONGLOMERATES.

Because, I mean obviously, I want to save at least one of those.

Hey man, just make sure that you forward on the one from Bill Gates – he wants to share his fortune! I swear to god man, somebody told me it was on “good morning america”.