Live, the Universe, Grand Theft Auto 3

Grades for Spring Semester are posted. Let’s go see how bad I did!

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…DAMN YOU INTERNET DIAL-UP!…

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…Hmm. A. Another friggin’ semester of straight A’s, or As without the apostrophe, or Ass if you like it like that. This can’t be right. I’ll bet when they first post grades they all start as A’s, and as results from the professors start flowing in the grades slowly get docked down to their appropriate level. Bush won. No wait, Gore won. Oh silly us, Nader won.

It’s like being a cabbie who drives everywhere backwards. The clock starts at the default $4.00 and creeps down as you back into pedestrians and fire hydrants and cop cars. Before you know it you accidentally kill a few officers and you have three stars so you book it to the fenced-off area of China Town where they can’t run you over. Then they start bombing you with squad cars from the sky, you get four stars, and the cops already shooting at you get run over by ten more squad cars as they race up to see to your peaceful arrest.