May 22, 2002

Terminal Inquisition

Funny thing about summer break. The less you do, the less you have to say.

Dan had to do work at a client’s place in Minneapolis yesterday. A sign in their underground parking garage said “WARNING: CARS ARE EASILY OPENED, EVEN WHEN LOCKED!” I don’t think I’ve ever read that statement in an automobile user’s manual.

The locks on the FORD BRAND are merely ornamentation. If someone wishes to steal your purse or faceplate or organs they can simply remove door with the quick-release buttons identified on this diagram. Diagram is reproduced on passenger side door to allow thieves easy access to your personal belongings.

Willis played an XBox racing game at Best Buy. He chose the DeLorean, which had beautiful reflective textures and a large British flag stencilled to the roof. It would not travel back in time, so we hit the double-decker bus at 88 mph rather than slipping through it with a trail of flames. The car doors would fall off when you rolled over too many times.

We went and saw some hippies at the Terminal Bar, along with a band called The Beads. The drummer (who likes playing video golf) and auxillary percussionist were absolutely incredible, playing off each other with tight, complex rhythms. The rest of the band didn’t quite do these virtuosos justice, but it was a pleasant night to be downtown with guys peeing on the sidewalk.

“Hey Dan, honk at that guy! Nervous up his bladder!

Dont worry about it Dane, atleast your Ford HAS locks. My first car, a quality automotive if I ever saw one, sadly had no working locks. However the rust on the body of the car was worth more than the car itself. Actually ironically when I would lock it it’s only success was at keeping my key stuck in the lock, while the doors were still available for operation and more importantly, theft.