December 15, 2002
ode to advertisements
I’m doing (as usual) everything in my power to avoid studying for big hairy finals. Let’s continue the tradition by dragging Den Beste and advertising into the mix!
Telemarketers have been going crazy the last two weeks in Duluth, as though they’re scrambling these last few days before Christmas to make sure everyone’s Holiday Stress Quotient is at maximum. A few days ago a stuttering fool tried to give me his schpiel, and when I sat and listened without affirmation, he paused.
“Hello?”
I hung up.
Some jerk woke me up at 9:00 Saturday morning, asking that I stir my roommate to receive his call. I denied the request. Another time they asked for a person that hasn’t lived in this apartment for three years. Every one of them wanted to pawn off his credit card on us.
A note to advertisers: I HATE POP-UP WINDOWS. I HATE BANNER ADS. I HATE ANIMATIONS. I HATE FLASH MOVIES. I HATE THE COLOR YELLOW. I HATE SOUND. I HATE SPAM. I HATE FULL-SCREEN ADS. I HATE PRODUCT PLACEMENTS. I HATE THE TELEPHONE. I HATE CREDIT CARDS. I HATE BILLBOARDS. I HATE PRODUCT JINGLES. I HATE IRRITATING VOICES THAT JABBER BACK AND FORTH.
And even for how much hate boils within, I WILL NOT PUNCH THE GOD DAMN MONKEY.
I run my monitor at 1280*1024 resolution. I run my Exploder browser window at about 2/3 that.
I just got a banner ad that took up half the window.
And now I see a fatal flaw in making ads so fargin’ huge. The letters were so big I couldn’t read ’em, even less comprehend their message. By making ads gigantic they’ve effectively made them invisible.
Thanks, guys!
So yeah, from what I hear, UMD sold all our names and numbers to some organization, which is why we’re all being suddenly bombarded with annoying calls. I love UMD.
I finally got sick of it, and will not accept any more calls for my roomates. Then of course when I tell them that Sarah is not around, they assume that I am her husband. Alright, these folks need a serious fucking wake up call (pardon the pun). We are college students, we dont wake at the crack of dawn, we wake whenever the hell we feel like it. It is final weeks, most of dont wake. I already have enough complications without your damn credit card.
I had to tell a lady yesterday morning at NINE that I wasn’t interested, she kept talking. I said, “SERIOUSLY, IM NOT interested in your crap offers, dont call college student houses before 2 pm.” After that she laughed and promptly hung up.
Dane, I feel your rage and your hate, and I say when the revolution starts telemarketers will be the first to the wall.
We here at State Farm feel your pain…which is why for a limited time we are offering huge discounts on insurance! Seriously! Trust us!
I actually used to be a telemarketer, and speaking from experience, its darn fun when you really piss someone off. Nine AM is pretty brutal though….