Litany

I’m fine, I’m just lazy. Now that summer is unspun I am sleeping again and I can feel the wit and acidic verve returning to my marrow. Sweet, delicious marrow. The skunk outside my window just shot off another round, as though he was at risk of being completely forgotten and had to do something before he ran off to hibernate, lest all his efforts in the past months be forgotten.

Do skunks hibernate? I really don’t know on this one. With that white stripe it may be that they don’t hibernate at all, and they just blend into the snow so well they look like a completely different animal. A half-skunk that in the wild always appears right next to another half-skunk. Maybe with all the environmental funding in the Pacific Northwest channeled into finding out what a male sasquatch chooses to write in the snow, there’s never been a serious inquiry into whether the skunk and half-skunk are indeed the same animal in different seasons.

Or maybe on the fall equinox all skunks run into the freeway to get flattened by trucks so they don’t have to decide what to do for the winter. Who knows. Maybe the few that survive migrate to Tijuana. Or camp out under my window.

Today was an awesome day; one of those lovely fall days where the clouds suddenly part, you hit all the green lights, people wave you in front of them in the checkout lane, you conjure a delicious Thai meal out of broken English on the side of a jar and some good ol’ Scandanavian ingenuity and you find that your CDs were indeed stolen, but they were stolen by your evil and forgetful and forgetfully evil doppelganger Self, and hidden in your room.

You also fixed your kite, which had spawned another busted bladder thanks to a leaky nipple (ahem). There’s nothing more fun than going to Wal-Mart, buying nothing but baby powder and condoms, and pretending to be all nervous and secretive at the register. People talk, and you know it because you talk, and it’s quite delightful to outright give them something to talk about. You also smack your face into a door that you swear opened automatically last time you were in the store. They no doubt talk about that, too, even though that wasn’t intentional.

You also realize that you’re kind of washed out, so instead of penning more words to try and fix the problem you post a few pictures of monster trucks: