Quickly now, as I need to get to class.
We figured out what was wrong with the phone. Unlike normal people that have only one phone in their room (and my mother tells freakish tales of a time when there was only one phone per household), Doug has two phones. When everyone ran around checking phones we never noticed his headset phone. Turns out the phoneline has been dead for a week because Doug knocked his headset off the radiator and it turned on. Apparently if a phone has been on for a whole week the dial tone sputters out and leaves you with a ominous silence that is difficult to diagnose.
So the phone works now, and I spent more than an hour last night reviewing my voicemail, calling my editor, talking to my sister and yowling at Doug.
Later: Ha ha! Take that, foul Media Law book! The writers have gone out of their way to make the topic of tele-psychics dry and boring, so I went out of my way to dump green tea on the book’s absorbent pages. Nyah! I have forsaken you!