June 4, 2002

Blaster Balls

BLASTER BALLS! OVER 400 BLASTS!

INSTRUCTIONS:

To blast in hand: Cup one ball in hand at crease of palm and fingers. Hold other ball in same hand between thumb and forefinger. Toss upper ball one to two feet up and catch ball, bringing hand with ball in upward motion. Cracking balls together creates a ‘blast’ sound when coated surfaces meet right in your hand -safely.

CRACKING BALLS are fun! Try this game:

Using the hand blasting method, see how many times you can blast the balls in a row without dropping them or missing a blast. When you miss, pass the balls to the next player. Keep score and the first person to blast the balls 25 times wins.

Invent many more games yourself!

WARNING:

Choking Hazard -small parts. Not for children under 3 years.

Exercise caution when playing.

Do not blast within one foot of the face.

Do not throw at or near other children.

Keep your blaster balls dry.

…just another day at the dollar store…


Sigh, the dollar store.
I wish I could say that I have never ventured deep within those trash filled halls, but I have. I bought some really cool goggles there, and me my friends spent the rest of the day driving around with our goggles on and our heads out the window of the speading car. Boy some of those reactions were priceless. Never seen somebody do a triple take, then try to avoid my stare.
Ahh, summer.

The dollar store did have three sizes of bolt cutters, all affordably priced. Come to think of it, paying any price for a pair of bolt cutters is fair, as they pay for themselves in one busy evening.
If you need to carry your bolt cutters around in your coat, cut the handles off and replace them with two pipes. Hide one pipe up each sleeve (or better yet, sew pipe-loops on the inside of your coat), and when called to action just slip them on the diminished cutter for handles.
I didn’t get a bolt cutter because my mom refuses to finance a life of crime. Hell if I’m gonna spend my own money on ’em.

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball ™. If Happy Fun Ball ™ begins to smoke, run away and seek shelter. Happy Fun Ball ™ was made with a material that fell to Earth, presumably from space…