October 4, 2002

mindful roilsomes

I was rooting through my archives and saw I never published this entry. -10.26.2002

I must have had a pretty wild night of sleep last night. I keep confusing real life with dreams. Strange conversations about germs versus bacteria versus salmonella poisoning in our kitchen, wistful telephone exchanges about moving out west for the summer, philosophical considerations that I have made in sleep but not in wakefulness.

I remember waking up a few times and watching reality defragment. It was like an aging photgraph moving backwards in time, correcting for dulled colors and mending torn edges. A few times there were cracks and pops and lines trailing across the ceiling, as though I was seeing it through a decaying 1920’s film strip.

My brain feels like it’s going to pop, but I don’t really mind. Mark and I were talking the other day about how our weeks at school are beginning to feel like years, each with its own independent framework of emotion and perception. On Monday I was possessed by some spirit and cranked out those gargantuan entries about video games and Mimics. attended a Monday Night Religion presentation on Hinduism at the Ba’hai Center in Superior. Tuesday night the northern lights were going crazy, so I drove out to Hawk Ridge and watched them for a bit. On Wednesday I went down to Canal Park for an hour and shot some photos. I followed that night’s Wooch! meeting with a sauna, and then worked my short story for fiction class until 2:00 in the morning. I went to bed after I started losing my vision. Thursday I got up at 8:30 and finished the story around 1:00… just before class. Thursday night I went to a two-hour philosophy presentation on decision theory.

I think there is no question why my mind is roiling. This has been an excellent year.

Everyone should buy Beck’s new cd Sea Change. It is a nice piece of work, and I have probably listened to the whole thing fifteen times since I got it last weekend. Four hours a day in the library gives one a lot of time to get aquainted with new music.