damage assessment

1 broken toe.

cause: preexisting affliction from apartment staircase. Remedied by shoving foot in tight snowboard boot, forcing toe to rethink its slow battle toward recovery. Further serious injuries managed to dull pain from toe.

1 bruised tailbone.

cause: numerous, numerous falls. Many were caused by icy conditions resulting from Colorado’s pathetic snow drought. Others were caused by recklessness in terrain park.

1 cracked skull.

cause: many falls. Impact with ice. Impact with snow. Impact with trees. Impact with rail in the terrain park.

1 split lip.

cause: wind, dry, sun and cold… or falling off the picnic tables.

1 bruised ass.

cause: grinding a rail in the terrain park on my ass.

1 deep blister on heel.

cause: snowboard boots that fit just right.

8 layers of skin missing from feet.

cause: warm socks, moist socks, tight boots, et cetera.

1 mysterious scab on ankle.

cause: snowboard boots or ringworm.

1 missing fingernail.

cause: dry and cold air would split nail up the middle. Various falls knocked the splinters loose. Toothy manicure sessions on the chairlift sealed its fate.

1 dislocated shoulder.

cause: serious spill off a kicker in the terrain park. Injury makes it difficult to take off shirts.

1 bruised thigh.

cause: same spill in terrain park.

1 session of reverse deja vu.

cause: hitting head on same spill in terrain park. If I wasn’t wearing a helmet I’d be dog meat. It was kind of neat how time slowed down digitally so I could hear the gaps between individual waveforms. There was also some kind of familiar music that I can’t quite place, where each thematic variation was associated with a different color. The colors were neon green, orange and magenta, so I assume the reverse deja vu was referencing a hard fall I took while skiing in the early 90’s.