Ok, let’s try something. Let’s see what happens when I’m quite stressed out and it’s only the second week of school and I’m feeling like I really do nothing but run around and fill out petitions to make sure I actually graduate when I graduate…
Let’s see what happens when I clock the current time: 10:43. Let’s see what happens when I lay off the delete key and allow myself only FIVE MINUTES to hack out something. Ready? Let’s do it.
So last night our Friend Commander Keane decided he had to leave for Tuscon, Arizona, so we threw a little party at his place. Normally an event of little public significance, except in the Commander’s case he lives in a TENT. A canvas wall tent, twenty-five minutes out of Duluth, in a forest, next to a clearcut, on public land. I have crazy friends, I do, as the Commander lived there with two other fellows. The Hobo and the Jon.
The Hobo has hobo gloves and surly hair that sticks out every which way. The Jon built an outhouse and a wood box (as it gets 19 below in their tent so they need a stove and tons of wood to keep the place warm) but he built them both out of the same plans! The same blueprints! He’s an architect! A one-man comedy team! One act Charlie!
So I ask the Jon if he ever accidentally craps in the wood box instead of the outhouse because they both look the same. He said never. Never accidentally. On purpose? Sure! There was a mouse that lived in the wood box but didn’t live in the outhouse and one day the mouse woke up in The Jon’s sleeping bag and the Jon went AUUUGGGHH!!!! So he came home from school that afternoon (as just because you live in a canvas wall tent doesn’t mean you don’t have to go to school) and there was the mouse stuck by its little tiny legs in a frozen pail of water. So Jon gets a hammer and cracks the mouse good and hard into the ice, and it shattered and went skrit and a little nugget of blood came out.
(Right now I’m having trouble doing the math, and figuring out if I need to stop typing now. What did I say, 10:43? Now it’s 10:49. Umm… That’s… er… SIX MINUTES! WHOOPS!)