February 16, 2003

l1nux r0xx0rz m4 b0xx0rz!

You thought it was done? You thought the vast fields of Internet crap had finally been picked over? Nay, dear reader. Nay, indeed. Flash animations are the modern equivalent of a million monkeys hammering away on a million typewriters, and I am still making runs into the monkey stables to see what jewels can be separated from the mess. It looks like the cover of that Green Day CD in there.

Tech writer JeffK comes up with the most persuasive argument ever for switching from Windows to Linux.

please unsubscribe me from danes bored.com i do not want to get this web page any more because i don’t have time to read it and i’m not interested how do i unsubscribe?

You see that screen in front of you? Smash your face into it. Hard. Pretend you’re a confused little bird that’s trying to fly through a window. Eventually a talking horse-rabbit creature (or some equivalent hallucination) will float down from above and offer you stock options in a new internet company.
Deny his offer the first two times. Accept on the third. Eventually the horse-rabbit will leap down your throat and you’ll experience a slight tingly sensation. As soon as it starts to hurt, you are unsubscribed.
Wait, no. Sorry. That’s how you cure warts. To unsubscribe, just reverse the process.