roma phlarm

So I just picked up the program ZoneAlarm, which lets me choose when I want programs to connect to the Internet without my knowledge and upload all my personal information, and when I would rather they kept all my junk tethered to my desk where it belongs.

It’s amazing how many backwoods requests for Internet access I get. Occasionally, a little window creeps up in the corner, begging, “Could ccm.exe please, pretty please, connect to the Internet?” and I ponder the request, and depending on my mood will brutally swat it down. I get to be that king who sits in his really big chair at his big eating table and casts his goblet of wine into the fireplace for no good reason. I’ve ruined 53 goblets so far, and the day is still young.

Norton AntiVirus really, really wants to connect to the Internet really, really often, and that really bothers me. I thought the whole point of that program was to keep nasty things off my computer. While composing this entry I’ve denied its request three times. It’s like telling your dog he can’t go for a walk right now, and each time I’m finding it harder to say no.