April 6, 2003
plastic makes it possible
I got a new keyboard over the weekend, as my old one had become infected with orange juice, candle wax and hissy-fits while using Adobe Premiere. One time I hit the keyboard so hard two keys flew off. I never bothered putting them back on.
The keyboard came in a plastic bag, and as plastic bags are one of mankind’s most dangerous inventions ever (right up there with machine guns, nuclear weapons, and paper cuts), it was littered with warnings. People need to be protected from themselves, ya know.
Not just text warnings, but pictures for all you visual learners out there.
WARNING: PLASTIC BAG WILL GIVE YOU THE SUDDEN AND IRREVERSIBLE ABILITY TO SING LIKE MANY POPULAR SONG GROUPS.
Doesn’t this one remind you of a dog with a bucket stuck on its head? Seriously, is there anything in the world funnier than a dog running around with a bucket on its head?
WARNING: PLASTIC BAG WILL RESULT IN YOUR CHILD LOOKING RIDICULOUSLY ADORABLE FOR THE FEW MOMENTS BEFORE IT SUFFOCATES TO DEATH.
Ah, I do love the warnings. Without them, we might do something like stick a plastic bag over our heads and suffocate. And yes, dogs with buckets on their heads have to be one of the greatest things ever!
Funny! A couple days ago we bought a new vase from the dollar store; obviously nothing big or fancy. But as I was taking in out of the bag, I noticied it just about seemed the right size for Toby’s head. A cat with a vase on its head is pretty funny, too. Just ask Greta.
Ha! Luke, don’t get any ideas.
Luke?
LUKE!
Excellent. that gives me the perfect excuse to go by a vase and get all cultured.
Down Pretty Kitty,
Actually these warnings reminided me of one in front of a penguin pen at the Toldedo zoo. It looked like a penguin hitting a wall repeatedly…