dane has snakebite

“So where will you be living?”

“Hood River, Oregon. It’s in the Columbia River Gorge.”

“Oh man. So you’ll be, like, only an hour from the ocean.”

“Well, three hours.”

“That’s not far.”

“Yeah, not at all. And I’m only an hour from Portland, so I know where I can go if I get the urge to firebomb hippies.”

“All that hair burns fast.”

“Yeah it does.”

…

“You have a leather jacket.”

“Yeah.”

“You don’t strike me as the leather jacket type.”

“Well, I like it.”

“I never said I didn’t like it.”

“And it’s good you didn’t, because this is also my ass-kicking jacket.”

“I see.”

“You see this shirt? It says I’VE BEEN TO DULUTH. When I wear this jacket it should say I’ve Been to Duluth… AND I KICKED ITS ASS.”