September 3, 2003

The Roof is on Sprinkle

Yesterday the wind came back, but it swung around to the east and nipped us in the bum. Sometimes the wind blows from the east, here. It’s a rare event, like catching a badger with nothing but dental floss and a book on electricity, but it does happen. When the wind comes from the east it gets windy out at Stevenson, which is across the River from Cascade Locks on the Washington side, about twenty miles west of Hood River. Stevenson happens to be where a few Bee Dub employees were out sailing Tuesday morning.

And Cascade Locks happens to be where a forest fire popped up Tuesday morning. They were set to evacuate Cascade Locks because the fire was moving towards the town (helped along by delicious 20 mph winds gusting to 30), and they had to shut down I-84 from Troutdale to Hood River. People watered their houses, and some put sprinklers on their roofs. The interstate is still closed today as they fix the guard rails, which once had wooden posts. It sounds like the fire got 100 acres (and a barn and an old bed and breakfast) before it was contained, which by Northwest standards is pretty tame. They were already running trains this morning.

Nevertheless, the closed freeway snarled traffic across the Hood River Bridge and throughout the Gorge, as everyone diverted their travels to 14 over in Washington. It took Nelson four hours to do the twenty mile drive from Stevenson back to Hood River, Tuesday evening. Forest fires are like blizzards with flames instead of snow and property damage instead of coziness. Today the crowds were noticably thinner in Hood River, and in the afternoon the wind started huffing from the west and you could taste burning pine in the thick orange air. Tonight the moon is wed to Mars.

I think they should make a forest fire collectible card game. I also think they should redo popular music videos with surveillence camera footage. I also think they need to start a t-shirt company that makes all the cool shirts I want to buy. Shirts like “Parade Route Monitor,” “Sherpa,” “Not Pot” and “Alphabet Game.”

I also think American businesses need to take a hint from Japanese companies and have more business names like “Kite Junk” and more slogans like “I am very happy to see kite.” Lighten up, guys.

Where were we? Oh yeah. Stay out of my boots!

Actually I think the best slogan for a kite company is the last line thier. “Lighten up guys” Seems, both breezy and bum like.