January 30, 2004

everybody get naked!

It’s been a freakin’ long week, but tonight I test drove a Subaru Outback and now it sounds like my friends are drunk, so I’m gonna grab my new Incredible Hulk Hands and go hydrate myself with fermented grain beverages.

They make great cars, but remember one thing: If you wanna run with my team it’s important that you practice good hygene. Also get the V-6 for sure.

Yeah buddy, buddy! The car t’ain’t nuthin’ without the 2.5L Boxer engine, but with it she’s one hot mother.
You gotta wash your ass, if you must
You gotta wash your hair, if you must
You gotta brush your teeth, if you must
Or else you’ll be funkyyyyyyyy

The only negative experiance i have had with my ‘ru is when me and kean asked the ranger at canyonlands NP if a subaru could do the four wheel drive trails.
The ranger said its real expensive to get towed back to the trailhead.
as long as you dont expect to be doing anything that involves clearance, its a damn fine car

Hmm. I might have to rethink my automobile of choice, then. I plan on doing lots of things involving clearance with my Subaru Outback.
Things like clearance at Food 4 Less or the military surplus store or Wal-Mart. One hundred tins of tainted meat? Five dozen jungle hammocks? Twelve gallons of chain oil and Kool-Aid? BRING IT ON, BABY! I’ll have my H2 Suburban Assault Vehicle with plush baby seal interior and manatee-seeking missiles! DON’T MESS WITH ME.