A/S/L – Weblog

I saw this at Collectively Unconscious and thought it might be fun. See? Profiles can be fun! Copy it yourself! Put your own answers on your website! And link to it in the comments section! Or put my answers on your website! And link to it in the comments section! And let’s watch everyone’s mind boggle as they try to figure out what in the heck is going on!

General Info

Age?

Gender?

Man

Sexual Preference?

“This one goes out to my one true love… the ladies.”

Martial Status?

None

Eyes?

Nanotechnology

Hair?

Dark blonde

Height?

My crutches say 5′ 6”

Weight?

170 lbs with backpacking gear

Occupation?

ex-Snowboard Instructor, High-Powered Web Designer, Master of the Universe

Current Residence?

Bend, Oregon

Born?

Hopkins, Minnesota

Religion?

Edible.

Do You…

Drink?

Delicious.

Smoke?

Last time I had a cigarette I ended up on top of the paddle wheel in Hood River. They hook ya with the crazy antics that wouldn’t happen without nicotine!

Have tattoos?

Scars are sexier.

Have piercings?

This body has enough holes as it is.

Dance?

They call me the Lord of the Dance.

Drive?

Optimus Prime – a 2004 Subaru Legacy Outback. Silver, leather-wrapped stick shift, dual moonroofs, blinding fog lights that I have on regardless of driving conditions, 2.5 liter side-imposed boxer engine.

Kiss and tell?

Typically.

See dead people?

See: Attic.

What…

Pooh character do you most resemble?

The high-strung crazy one.

Is the most important switch in your house?

The fireplace.

Is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

Super hero would you be?

The Tick

Is your favorite bumper sticker saying?

My doberman tore your honor student into meaty shreds.

Position would you work at Walmart?

Parking lot vandal.

Dis or Dat?

Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla

Plane or Train?

Private jet

Coke or Pepsi?

Pepsi

Steak or Veggies?

Steak

Asparagus or Liver?

Asparagus

Kissing or Cuddling?

Heavy petting.

Death Metal or Blues?

Death metal blues played by a chamber orchestra.

Dogs or Cats?

A good hard freeze would kill all the stray cats ’round here.

General Info
Age?
32
Gender?
Man
Sexual Preference?
Things being as they are, it’s best I pass on this one.
Martial Status?
Your sister.
Eyes?
Check.
Hair?
Greta nixed the mullet; now classic Y.R.
Height?
5’10”
Weight?
It’s been stable since 1987.
Occupation?
Healer
Current Residence?
5701 Winnequah Trail
Born?
to Rock!
Religion?
Methodist, but not a fanatic about it.
Drink?
Just my recommended 1-2 Etoh’ic bevs. per day.
Smoke?
On average, I ernestly recommend 4 people to quit a day.
Have tattoos?
I just can’t think what I should get.
Dance?
Sure Can.
Drive?
Obviously enough to get a six-figure salary… but lately I’ve been feeling a little lazy and complacent.
Kiss and tell?
Who’s asking?
Stopped beating your wife?
What! No! I mean, wait…
What…
Pooh character do you most resemble?
Tigger was a nickname of mine.
Is the most important switch in your house?
The hickory one hanging by the bed.
Is your favorite letter of the alphabet?
Z has a lot of panache.
Super hero would you be?
Sponge Bob.
Is your favorite bumper sticker saying?
“Commit random acts of kindness and sensless beauty.” It makes me weep.
Position would you work at Walmart?
Probably pharmacy.
Dis or Dat?
Chocolate or Vanilla?
Often both.
Plane or Train?
plane.
Coke or Pepsi?
Diet Coke
Steak or Veggies?
Steak
Asparagus or Liver?
Asparagus
Kissing or Cuddling?
This really isn’t one of those times where you can’t have your cake and eat it too.
Death Metal or Blues?
Anything but oldies, esp. “Rockin’ Robin.”
Dogs or Cats?
2:1

Aie! I’m laughing so hard it hurts!

Well, I’m glad someone is reading my blog. You know, I wrote that little personality inventory and the two of you have taken it to a whole damn new level. I love it!

Thanks, Cameron! I must say, t’was a great Q an’ A to begin with, and it was quite a hoot to fill out. Excellent stuff, man.