September 20, 2005

we all need haircuts

Okay. This time I’m back for good, and now I’m working on something pretty huge.

In the meantime, I find ice water amazing.

How huge? Bigger than the diamond Kobe Bryant gave his wife after bagging a chunky white woman? Larger than Boris Yeltsin’s liver? Bigger than the incredulity of Elizabeth Hurley after finding out Hugh Grant got a hummer by a horrible looking chickenhead? More huger than the boner the man in New Orleans popped after yelling at Vice President Cheney to “Go fuck yourself, Mr. Cheney!”
I bet it’s not that big, huh? Is it! Pussy.

Geez, boy. No. Not that big. Freakin’ a, of course it’s not that big. I mean, it’s pretty big and all, but after all the baggin’ and hummin’ and bonin’ it seems pretty small by comparison.
…and why am I the pussy, mind you? I’ve been guiding canoe trips the entire summer; you’ve been sittin’ in an air-conditioned office, staring at the back of some ass-wipe’s head, all playin’ World of Warcraft and shit. That sounds like pussy-work to me, my friend.