April 11, 2001

leak sprung sprung leak

Batten down the hatches and man the lifeboats cuz UMD is sinkin’ and I don’t mean metaphorically. The soggy transitional season of wring is well upon us, and as a result the old vessel is taking on water at every possible corner. All available wastebaskets, mop buckets and bed pans are currently employed, making feeble attempts at bailing out the school. Slippery floor signs have been posted at the most troublesome sites, but the illiterate waters do not seem to be cooperating. Rats and freshmen are scampering to the upper decks with the hope of escaping a watery grave.